Episode 27: Friendship, Wellness & Choosing Your Own Path with Marissa Meade of @stylecusp

Episode Description:

This week, we’re joined by a very special guest — our longtime friend Marissa of @stylecusp. If you’ve been around since the blogging days, you’ll know Marissa as one of the early voices in the influencer world. She and Christina met back in 2012 when they were two Connecticut girlies starting their blogs, and their friendship has been going strong for well over a decade.

In this episode, we talk with Marissa about:

• How she first got started in the influencer space and why her content has always been grounded in her real life rather than a curated persona.
• Her evolution into wellness content — long before “wellness” became the category it is today — and what grounding practices she turns to now for her mental, emotional, and physical health.
• A big decision she recently made about where to officially call home as she splits her time between Connecticut and Florida, and the self-discovery it took to get there.
• How Christina and Marissa have navigated 13+ years of friendship in such a public, competitive industry — choosing collaboration over comparison and supporting each other’s growth.

We also get into the routines and rituals that keep Marissa centered, including why daily walks have been transformative for her overall wellbeing, and how she prioritizes balance while traveling often.

💗 Pink Spotlight
Each week, we highlight a moment, product, or practice that’s bringing us joy:

• Marissa: the Aritzia Lodge Pant (her most-worn travel piece of the summer) and her daily 3-mile walks.
• Kristina: sending her four kids back to school after what turned out to be a surprisingly magical summer.
• Christina: the Bio Dance Collagen Overnight Mask — a Korean skincare Amazon find that leaves skin plump and glowing after just one use.

It’s a conversation about friendship, growth, wellness, and creating a life that truly reflects who you are. You’ll leave feeling inspired to collaborate more, compete less, and prioritize the practices that ground you.

Connect with Marissa:

• Follow her on Instagram & TikTok
• Subscribe to her Podcast: Behind The Cusp with Marissa Meade

Join the Conversation

📌 Follow us on Instagram: @prettyinpinkagain @christinatarabishy @kristinabontempo
📌 Share this episode with a friend
🎧 Subscribe and leave a review—it helps more women find this show!

Don't forget:  Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts, DM us your address, and we’ll send you a light pink beaded bracelet with a gold pink flamingo charm—just to say thanks for being here. 💕

Transcript

0:00

I'm Christina, and I'm t, and this is the Pretty and Pink Again podcast where Motherhood meets rediscovery. today we're sitting down with someone who is not just a dear friend, but is also a true force in this space. Marissa Mead, her health journey has shaped the way she shows up, not just for herself but for her community. She's known for creating deep and authentic connections in an industry that often leans competitive and surface level. What makes Marissa stand out is that she gives herself permission to pause, takes breaks that are both needed and deserved, reminding us that stepping back is sometimes the bravest way to move forward. And this conversation, Christina and Marissa shared the story of how they first connected and what it's like navigating the influencer and creative world together. Hello. Hello. Hey, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. It's been a while. I wish that everyone just heard the banter that was going on in this room. You will. Maybe not all of it. We have a guest here today sitting with us, which is really exciting. Yeah, we have someone in the hot seat today. I love when we can actually get somebody in person, but it is my girl Marissa from Style Cuts. Hello here from Florida and back and forth from Florida, I should say. But we caught her in the middle of the tactics travel schedule, and we got her in the hot seat. Yes. So we're so excited to have you. Thanks for having me. I'm really excited too. This has been a long time coming. I launched the podcast and I feel like my following was like, when's Marissa coming on? They knew, they were like, I'm like we're gonna get her on. She's not local right now, but we'll get her on. So we're finally here. We are here. I'm so happy to have you here. Thanks for having me. And your home is beautiful. thank you. I'm excited to talk to you guys about how you've navigated through this industry together and remained such special friends. I've met you Marissa through Christina years ago. I know. So long. You guys have always just been such a good duo. And I wanna hear about all the healthcare stuff and that journey for you. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's dive right in. how long are you in Connecticut for? I, that's such a loaded question. Okay. So are you here for like pumpkin spice season or, so honestly, I don't really have an exact timetable. I also, I never do, so I'm like not really thinking that far ahead with anything like ever. But I am going back to Florida in September for at least a week. And knock on wood, I'm not like thrust back here quickly by, because of hurricane, which has happened the last three or four years that I've gone down there in Septembers. So hurricane season is September in Florida. Yeah. It's Fullblown right now, but also. August, September. September Seems to be like the unlucky month. Yeah. And I feel like you used to,'cause how many years have you been going back and forth? Is it like four or five? Um, 20, 21. So this is my fifth. This will be my, this is the fifth year. Fifth year. But it'll be going into my sixth. I feel like you have inched like year by year used to be. Okay, you're going for the spring and then you'll be here for the summer. And the fall. And the holiday. And then sometimes you would go back in yeah. February. And then every year I lose you more and more. Are you? I definitely spend more time in Florida and yeah, because But your driver's license is still CTDL. It's actually still here, but it expires in December, so I have to gonna lose her. Gonna, we're losing her officially. She's gonna be a Floridian. I know. And now I feel like, I'm like, wait, you're visiting us here and now I can't be like, you're coming home. I'm like, you're visiting Connecticut again. It is sad at, so exciting at You look like a Florida girl. She does. Really? I like the blonde hair, the blue eyes said the chill vibe. You look like a West coast Florida girl. That's exactly what I am. I can't wait now. My boyfriend love this. No, I feel like, I know, I feel like you're New England. You are a New England girl, but I do feel like this part of you is like really fitting with your life too. Like it's a hundred percent. You're like my little mermaid. It feels like I am, I always say I'm a mermaid. You're my mermaid. I feel like it really reflects me most on an inner like deep level, being in Florida, the lifestyle, there's so many things. My soul truly feels at peace there and I feel like I could never really place that here in Connecticut, but it wasn't something I realized until I actually went there. I think that's and had this epiphany and so much happened in my own life and internally and personal growth and so when I went there and really felt that, it was like, okay, I feel like I'm at home, in some ways. So when you went there, did you have family there that was there or did you go off on your own? I honestly went more or less by myself. I was initially only going for a month and doing like getaway from the cold in Connecticut and the drag of just like the February, March, April, like extended time of year. I would just always hit a wall where I had like actual seasonal affective disorder, But I had to get away. I was like, I can't do this. My mom was like, Marissa, you have the job. You have the means like go and take a month or whatever you want, like a couple weeks, a month. So I get there, walk into the condo that I'm renting, and literally I take two steps in. Don't even look at like the whole place called my realtor, who was my second cousin's fiance at the time. So really weird, like how everything was connected. Because I didn't wanna have a moment where I was like, oh, should I was like, I need to move in. What I know in my heart is what I need to do, and it's stay here without any reservations. And so I did, and then I ended up staying another couple weeks after that. Yeah, you were gone that year I was gone. I don't think I saw you until almost June. Yeah. So you were supposed to go for a month. I was going until mid-May or something. So you had one of those visceral reactions when you arrived? Yes. I need to stay. Yes. And it really, I obviously didn't know why the initial reaction was like, oh my God, I'm gonna love it here. This place looks amazing. Like I'm a mile from the beach. All these things. But then as I was there longer, it really was just like this unfolding of so many things that were going on in my life and it really changed a trajectory for me. I know I wanna, I cannot wait till we get to that point of your story, because I do think that's such an exciting thing to start with because I just feel like that's just a. It's just a really, that's one of those like stories that you're, when you hear somebody just be bold with something and then it just completely changed their life from that point on. Yes. And that was that moment, right? Like you're saying you knew you wanted to stay. Yeah. But I want you to, yeah. That was her point. Rediscovering, yes. It was like, yes. That was your point of rediscovering for the next chapter and chapters of your life. Which is just so exciting when you can pinpoint that exact moment, which is amazing. But I wanna take us back. Take us all back and do a little introduction of you. And kind of I guess how you got to that point.'cause I feel like that's just the midpoint Of your story, but yeah. Tell us a little bit about yourself and I guess I can explain our connection, but Yeah, you can for sure. Intro. Okay. So I guess we've already established. I'm born and raised New England girl here. I'm from a very large family. Family is like a big deal for us and the oldest of seven girls, if you don't already know that. So I born and raised here and then I guess I'll start like my early twenties, went to college, graduated in three years. Honestly, at the time it was like, woo, I'm saving money. But looking back I'm like, why didn't I take that extra year? Because you're never getting it back, and now I'm like, stay as long as you can. Like to people, be young. I'm like, don't be an, become an adult and have responsibility. Not that being an adult is bad, and so I was in college and I always loved to write, I always loved to journal. I literally still have my journals from when I was five years old and like writing on a every other line to write big enough,'cause you were so little and writing. So it's always been something I loved. And so when I was in college, I actually started a blog because I wanted an online place to write. Even in high school, I had an xanga, which was like an online diary where you could follow people. So writing and just like being storytelling vulnerable from that perspective has always been part of me. And so I started a blog on a snowy night in college in 2010 and just started documenting like whatever I felt like and I didn't have any, oh, I'm only gonna talk about this, only gonna talk about that. It was just whatever. And then probably about a year later is when I started to see people were like sharing an outfit and this was like, I'm talking no way, shape, or form that it is now. It was like I would post like a random blurry, dark photo from my kitchen of a blender with something in it and then be like, these are like why I'm enjoying making this smoothie. But I was interning for a fashion designer in college, fully in Corina, in the city. And my internship was remote and I actually went up there during fashion week to help them with a photo shoot and an event they had. And then there was also a conference, independent fashion bloggers. And back in the day it was IFB and I couldn't even afford to go to the conference because I was in college and broke. So I volunteered at the conference to go and helped pass out whatever, And then they were like you can stay and listen the rest of the day. So I'm like, this is how I can learn. So literally I'm walking around, like passing stuff out to people, whatever, and just listening to all the stuff the whole time. And there was probably everyone that was considered a blogger at the time in the world, like in this room. And let me tell you, there was like maybe 50 to a hundred max if that people, this wasn't like, oh, a big conference. It was very small. So obviously you can see the evolution and this is all, and there was, I'm trying to think, 2010. So what about Instagram that was missing yet? It wasn't, I don't even think Instagram wanted that. So when you're talking blog, it was sim, it was strictly just written. Yep. We had Google Friend Connect, that's how you connected with another blog and followed them to have them, unlike your backend reader, like an RSS feed. Got it. Like it was so archaic. Like I, I'm like, this is setting me back. Yeah. I haven't thought about this stuff in so long. So that was spring of 2011 that I volunteered. So about a year after I started my blog and that's when I was like, oh, there's people that like share more than just whatever. Either they're sharing an outfit, they're sharing this, and this was like sincerely, Jules and Brian Vo and like people that like don't even really blog anymore. They have like brands in a totally different capacity. And so I started to like do that a little bit more. And then fast forward to after college, I got a job and was working, at Nordstrom in the shoe department in sales. And then I worked, I had some consulting jobs and then I had my blog and then I was also working in house for another company doing marketing. I was doing all the things because that's when people started to like, pay you for something. But I'm talking like 50 bucks. So I was like, if I do three of that a month, I can pay my car payment, and I was piecing together how I could potentially do this full-time. And then fast forward to 2014 is when I went full-time with. My blog, which at that point had then incorporated in Instagram and more things were becoming part of the whole thing and more people were doing this and it was something that brands were taking note of and you could start working with brands and that's when it became more of a job. Okay. And we met, so back to that IFB. Mm-hmm. So I was invited to IFBI had started in 2011. And so the 2012 season Yes. Of that IFB conference, I was invited to that and I went, yeah. And I had been hanging out with a bunch of other bloggers. I think that most of them were from like Dallas and maybe Florida. Yeah. And so I had a bunch of girlfriends that were like, we were all planned to go. Yep. And we were at a party. For Fashion Week that we were both invited to. We were at the Lucky Fab Conference. We were at the Lucky Fab Conference in 2012. Lucky, which Lucky doesn't even exist anymore, was in September of 2012.'Cause I remember I was wearing a leather dress. This was Lucky Magazine, which is again, archaic. We're gonna use that term a lot today. But this was like the big todo back then. Yes. Huge. If you were invited to, lucky you. That was a big deal. Yes. Like you were like, okay, I'm doing actually good at this. Yes. So we, I was like networking and talking to a bunch of people and there was a bunch of girls that I was hanging out with that all knew each other because they were local to each other. And I was like the tag along because I was the northeast girl and they, I was hanging out with all these southern girls. Yeah. Trying to make fun. Yeah. I don't even remember who I was there with. Somebody said, actually, I do know anything about it. Somebody said to me, oh wait, you're from Connecticut. I just met another Connecticut blogger and my mouth probably dropped. I was like, what? There's another Connecticut blogger at this conference who, and they point down the room and. I see Marissa, it was like the C part. Yeah. And there's Marissa and I'm like, I am going and saying hello. So I literally walked right over to you, like tapped you on the shoulder. Yeah. And I was like, someone said you're from Connecticut. And she was like, I am. And I'm like, I'm from Connecticut. Yeah. And we, at that point, we lived 20 minutes from each other. Yeah. So we were like, okay, as soon as we get back we are planning like a little girl date. And we're gonna have a date. Like we're gonna get to know each other. And that was it. Like I feel like we had a dinner. I can remember sitting across from you. Same. And I remember word vomit. We pictures after. Yeah, we did. Yeah. We were like you started by helping each other. Yes. Yeah. We did immediately love that we would meet up, I don't know, every couple weeks, like we'd load our cards up with a ton of clothes and shoot all the outfits we wanted Match. Yep. And have them for our blogs for a couple weeks. We'd do what, two or three posts a week or something? Yep. At this point. Maybe more. Yeah. But we would shoot, my sister also shot for me at the time. Yeah. And Raja was shooting for, and I would shoot a lot for each other. And that's because this was back when things were more curated. Yeah. Whereas now your shoots are more natural and videos and more and more real time, more interactive with your audience. Yeah. Yes. More real time. But we were like filling up our cars but, and schlepping around. Yes. Yeah. I remember I ran into you guys one day we did ran Us and Must Our pretenders and you were like, oh, we're shooting. We're today probably in the freezing cold. And you're I know. I was like, I'm about to deliver twins. I know. As you were. I know. That is so funny. So yeah, that was how we, that was how we started to become friends. Yeah. And it's just. From that point on. I think that was such a good point that you made that we started out helping each other. I think that's probably point number one of why we've been able to remain friends for 15 years now at this point. It's because we didn't start out in competition it was just us. We were the only people doing this In Connecticut for a long time. And we were like, why not help each other? We both love doing this. It was passion. For us at the beginning, and neither of us were doing it for our full-time jobs. We couldn't even envision that quite yet. But yes, I think that it's, we started out with like comradery and helping each other. Yeah, for sure. That's a strong foundation of a friendship. But when one of the Texas girls said to you, oh, there was a girl over there from Connecticut, you could have sneered and turned your head away and been like, I'm not interested in. But instead you got up and you chased her down and you grabbed her towards No, I couldn't wait. I thought it was amazing. And I think so. I think whether or not the sea, like if it was loaded or not, you would've had that same feeling. I don't know. That feeling reaction, that's who you are. Yeah. I just think it was exciting to meet somebody who is doing The same thing as me and had the same sort of passions. It was also, it's hard to explain how it was then I think to fully grasp, because we're in a world now where everyone is some type of creator, influencer, documenter, whatever the buzzword you wanna call it is. But we're all doing that in some way, or we all know what that is or have access to it, or we're consuming it. Every, literally everyone. Everybody. That didn't exist. That wasn't like no one understood what I did and I didn't even know what I was doing. There wasn't this rubric that you followed, like we were the ones that were putting the literal pavement like down for to be what it is now. Which is crazy to think about it is because like I had no idea what the heck I was doing. It was just oh, this is fun, like writing online. And then I, oh, I get invited to a conference. And there was all these different things that you're like, wait, there's other people that are actually like writing online and sharing things and like talking about like an outfit. And it wasn't even outfits when I first started. So like it evolved into that kind of quickly to be at the point where like when Christina and I met, there were more like fashion bloggers. That's what we called ourselves. But it wasn't something that was well known. to meet someone else who is so close in proximity to me, I was like, oh my God, I have somebody that understands this. It's like a soul sister. And it was like, oh my God. Yes.'cause also you're like, finally somebody can help me take pictures. Yeah. that gets it. So I feel, yeah. And I feel like when you have, again, something that like bonds you, you always say peace. Yeah. It's the epitome of a shared experience. Yes. Tea's favorite thing is when you have something that is bigger than you. Yeah. It creates this beautiful bond and it creates the, I think that's like the best roots and grounds and foundations for friendships. And that's, not to say that you can't form other friendships other ways, but that seems to be like the secret sauce. And that was definitely true for our story. For sure. And you guys work in this really, I think probably the, you have the only job where. Anybody can have access to your job. What I mean by that is in other professions, like for instance, my husband is a doctor, right? What he does all day at work, nobody could find out about. Nobody can just be like, oh, I'm going to wake up and I'm gonna try to do hands surgery doctor, or I'm gonna show up and shadow a doctor for a day. Or I know what a doctor does for a day. Nobody has any idea. You have this job where your aunt, your mother, your sister, your uncle, whoever has a phone could go on and see what you're doing for work for the day. Yeah. They can also see what you're doing for your job, for your personal life, or whatever you put on there. Yeah. So you have to both decide. What you're gonna share. And how do you keep that boundary of work in life? But back to Marissa's point, really, anybody can be an influencer, content creator. You need a phone. That's what you need right now. That's it. So it is, it's a just a, that's a very interesting kind of comparison. Yeah. Because it is something that anybody really could figure out how to do. It's not a, as there are skills involved, and obviously we know as like we put together a podcast, you, there are tech skills that you need to learn. Yeah. And all these things behind the scenes, but anybody can do it. And I guess I'm not as, I don't mean to throw shade about anybody.'cause I don't think anybody can do it. What I was really trying to pinpoint is. Not everybody can just show up at a hospital and watch what is being done all day long. Yeah. But anybody who has access to a phone now Can view your job. Yes. You know what I mean? Like your content being the product of your job is what I'm trying to say Okay, that makes sense. So how do you then work, put out your work, your professionalism, your income? And yet still keep some kind of privacy and dignity, for your personal life, which I know there are certain things you have to protect, right? For sure. Like even though you signed up for this to be your job, it didn't mean you have to sign away your life and your privacy. I think as things evolved too. The times definitely changed and the walls came down a lot more I think. When you had a blog and Marissa, correct me if you think differently. But I think when you had a blog and we're posting a couple of times a week, and it was your narrative, right? It was your storytelling, it was from your point of view. It was just very different. You could share what you wanted to, I feel like it was just a little bit easier to be a little bit more private and guarded. And with the rise of Instagram, which became an essential part of the job, and Instagram numbers became a huge factor in brand partnerships and your livelihood and the blog became a little bit less important. Mm-hmm. As Instagram and these other platforms were growing it. It did blur the lines of what you should share And what you shouldn't share, and the amount that you needed to share throughout the week. Throughout the day. Yeah. I think on a larger scale, it has a lot to do with video be, that's when I noticed the biggest shift. And so when, you know there was Instagram, it was like there weren't stories back when Instagram started. Like FYI, if you didn't have Instagram then, like there was not stories back in the day. It was just a feed and it was chronological. So that's the other thing that people forget about is like now you have access to a person, a level of access to a person in a way that didn't exist. when Instagram came out, it was just it was instant. You Insta, like you were sharing, boom. Oh, I'm gonna take a picture of this and I'm posting it. And it, there was no like thought process behind it. But then as Instagram evolved, they launched this thing called stories. And I remember when they launched this. Christina and I have a friend in the industry, her name's Danielle. I remember she was one of the first people I saw posting stories, and I remember thinking like, what the heck is she doing? Why is she talking on video? Thinking weird. It was such a foreign idea. Yes, it was. Because we weren't YouTubers. Yeah. We're not like video people, but it was like, okay, you have to adopt this thing if you wanna continue to grow and continue to further your platform. So this is the first time you both started actually talking to your audience? Yes. Because when else would you have before you would talk to your audience? Through maybe a large caption? Yes. Like a large caption, like a, in a still picture. Honestly, the captions were more of oTD, check the blog for the full outfit. Like it was very simple. We were still bringing people back. It was still pushing people. And then that's where you can get a little bit more in depth the story if you wanted to do any of that. But it is true with Instagram stories, which was probably like 10 years ago at this point. It might have been like 2016, I wanna say 15, 16 ish time. It was so foreign because I remember, I remember where I was, people's faces to hear people's voices that you had been watching and you had never, you never seen them, you never had seen their face move.'cause they're only in a picture or you had never seen them heard she talk, never heard. Yep. You didn't see people that way. You just saw these images. So you were then thrust into kind of consuming on a different level. Which is also from the tech standpoint where all these platforms were going, right? They were going into the video and then it was like the long form and then it was like, oh, no one has an attention span. So it's gotten shorter. There's been this progression. Back to your original question. I think that's where the shift in vulnerability came in and there was this like, okay, what are my boundaries with what I'm sharing? and'cause at first, like I said, I was like, what the heck? I'm not, getting on video and that seems so weird. And how do I talk and what do I say and do I should I be like dressed up or should I have no makeup? Like it was very weird'cause it was so foreign, then it became more natural and you'd share more of like things to do with your business. And then another layer of okay, if you really wanna connect, you have to be more open and vulnerable. And I think, I don't really know if I can pinpoint a time when I really felt like, I was like, okay, I'm gonna be more vulnerable. I'm gonna be more this way, or be more that way per se. What feels natural for me to share and also what do I personally feel safe sharing with a world that I don't really know. On the other side, it's like I knew my audience when it was smaller, but as it grew, it was like, it's not possible to know everyone. And there's people that follow me now that have followed me for 10 plus years, but I don't know all of them like by name or like they know my face. I don't know their face. And so it really was like, what do I feel safe sharing and what do I feel like I can share that makes sense in the context of my platform, but isn't so vulnerable and open where I feel I'm sharing stuff with strangers that they don't really need to know, Yeah. And I think for everyone it's different. How is your platform created? What are the pillars of your platform, et cetera. So when you started, you mentioned you had a blog, so you didn't have a mission pillars. No. Yeah. What, okay. I'm like, Marissa meet, I'm gonna hone in on beauty and Home. You didn't have that. When do you think that those pillars started to develop for you? Probably more after college when I was like, okay, maybe I'll take this a little more seriously. And by seriously I meant like consistently, like not just, so when this became your full-time job by then, you had already had these Yeah, for sure. In place. Yeah. By 2014 when I had that, it was like definitely fashion and then I would do a little bit of travel stuff and that was primarily what I was doing. And would you say the same goes for you? C Christina? Mine was a little bit, mine was mainly fashion, and then mine was definitely beauty and travel. Okay. I think Marissa did a little bit more, I would say lifestyle. Like you had a little bit more lifestyle content and then you broke out. In my opinion with wellness. And I feel like I even, I associate you with wellness. Yes. I feel as a viewer when I think of you. Yeah. And I think that was, even think time wellness I think it was even before wellness became like the A thing surge category that it is now. You were always dabbling with that type of stuff and it was because it was just naturally woven in. It wasn't always something that was like a huge priority and it was because it grew into your life and so You grew with it. And started sharing it. That's what I would think that happened. I think, thank you for saying that.'cause number one, I feel like that is such a huge thing for me now, but the reason why is because it is part of my life. It's not even a lifestyle, it's just who I am. The biggest thing that I always fall back on is I want my platform to be a direct reflection of who I am. I don't want it to be me trying to show up differently or fake something or whatever it is, the raw re who I am. So when someone sees me online, I want them to feel that if they meet me in person, they're meeting the same person and they know what I'm about because that's just who I am. I'm not having to try to do something for this platform that is now a platform, I think to piggyback a little bit on what Christina just said about breaking out in that area. It really was just a culmination of all the things I was going through in my life at that time. And so it wasn't something that I was like I'm gonna talk about wellness now. Like it was just what I was going through. I had been diagnosed with Celiac when I was in college and was on this whole journey with a naturopathic doctor to heal my body and my gut and I couldn't eat anything without being in horrible stomach, like intense pain. this is when? Thousand 10. Twenties. Yeah. This was when I met you. You had celiac. Yeah. So I had again gotten diagnosed with Celiac when I was a junior in college, so it was my last year. I graduated in 2011 and then when I came home from college, and it was the next couple of years, I was really like working on my health and like your gut feeling good, and like being able to eat food. I couldn't even eat food without being in so much pain. You're so progressive though, because I never heard the word gut health until like more recently. And now like you hear everybody talk about, and I learned about this from you, literally like gut health and it's like on everything, but it seems like you were really doing the research then when you couldn't just like, for sure drive to the end of the corner and find a doc, like a holistic doctor that specialized in, this. Yes. And you were very open, I think about sharing that. Yeah, like I wasn't hiding that. I was like going through health related things and not in a way where it was like something bad. It was more, I was just like, this is what I do. This is what my life is, this is how I eat. Yeah, I remember being like, when I moved into my first apartment in 2015, I was sharing like grocery halls and recipes and all that. And so that's always been part of me. I'm like, oh my God, that's 10 years ago. Now I'm sitting here, I'm like, five years ago. I'm like, wait, no. So I think it's just been a natural progression for me, and now my wellness platform has evolved to what it is. But like I was with a wellness company. I like use young living products for so long. So that became a big part of my content, which I still love and use them every day. People ask me all the time, yes, I use young, my products, all the, I still ask her all the time, yes, can you for oil, please sc me an oil, I need this. And I was gonna say that was like another huge shift. Where I feel like, because that was something that you were actually using and it was something that you were a quote unquote expert about because you were using and you. And you were like the wellness girly for your friends. Yeah. So you were sharing these things and people would go to you just people might ask me what my favorite lip liner is. They're asking you for your favorite oil to do this and that. Yeah. And I would say that was like another huge turning point for you.'cause I think that also got a, that got you a new audience. for sure. And I also like to that point, feel or felt at that time and still in ways I do now, which we'll probably get to, but I was feeling really disconnected from just talking about like clothes and stuff. Like I was seeing people order like 900 pieces of clothing a month and sharing them in the halls and all this stuff. And I felt was like, I don't wanna do that. Like that just didn't feel right for me. And I'm a person who moves a lot in. How I feel like I feel strongly about something, I'm gonna gravitate towards it, and I feel strongly about not something that I'm not going to. You can tell based on your move to Florida and where you're extending for a month there, you're, you really go with your gut. Yeah. And I think that's why your business has continued to grow with you because you've, as you've changed, you honor that and then your business follows you. Yes. You're not chasing the business. It's chasing you. Yes. Correct. And I think like Christina can attest that like on a friend level where I'll be like, I'm not doing that. I am not going and doing this. I'm not sharing that. I'm very just no. And not in a, you're too good for it kind of way. Just that this doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel right. It's not right for me. It's not aligned. This isn't where I feel like I can have impact. And even now, like I've been saying for the last two years, I'm like. I don't wanna just twirl around in my room in an outfit like that doesn't bring me joy. What brings joy elevating women every day and how they can make their life better? What does that look like? And how can they be elevated in their life to live better? And maybe that includes an outfit one day, but then maybe that includes like other things another day, and so it's not about oh, I'm not sharing fashion. It's like how is it being presented? And for me, because I've been through so many different things in the last 15 years on a personal level and so many things, it was like my content had to grow with me and not the other way around. And that I think has always, if you go back to asking about my mission, it was never about the pillars of the content pillars. It's always been about that. Like I want this platform to reflect me and not me molding into something to fit a platform. Wow. But it's hard. It honestly is hard to do that. You have to be very strong and like secure with yourself to be able to do that. Yeah. I think even to stay in this space for as long as both of us have at this point. It's hard. I think it's hard. Yeah. So I think that I always have looked to you because you have definitely done it very well, but you've also done it with a lot of strength and like a lot of knowing who you are. Yeah. but I also know the inner workings of your life. And I know that. Maybe things might look very glamorous and easygoing on the outside, but that's not the case. And so I think just like any of us, we've all had things that rock you and things that can tear you down. And in those moments it really is hard to know who you are. And you have this sort of, I don't know what you wanna call them almost like a identity crisis, where you go through these moments in your life where you don't know who you are, So it makes you question and it is so hard to be on the side that we're on, right? Yes. Where it is your job to share your life and your pillars, if you wanna call them, that, your life pillars and what you're all about, Sometimes things have to shift and that also can hurt your business. it's easy To mold and to do what you think is working for the times. And that's why we've seen people come out of the woodwork and they're just like, they see something that's working and they just go with it. Oh, I'm gonna do that too, and I'm just gonna copy everything that this person's doing and maybe I take a little of this and I take a little of that and then they create this like fake online persona. It's harder to take a step back, but I don't think it's easy to maintain that. It's not easy to maintain. that's why you see the rise, rise and fall of a lot of people. You see this when we say stories is coming out and then you see somebody just explode with that and run and okay, now I'm the person that puts my face on all the time. I can talk and I can do all these things. then they explode in that moment and then something else comes out and they don't adapt. Because you're just copying everyone and you don't really know who you are and what you stand for. I think me and you have probably both been guilty of. Letting those voices in where you're like, oh, should I do that? Yeah. And I think that sometimes we end up having really hard conversations with each other where we try to pull each other back. No. You said that you don't wanna do something like that. Are you sure? Like we are the voice of reason for each other. Yeah. Because I think that you can get really fricking lost in this space. Yeah. Like very easily if you don't have a grasp on who you are, what you wanna talk about. Because I think it comes more naturally when you have a really good handle on yourself, it's easy for you to be like, Okay, now this is what I wanna do and what I wanna share. But if you don't, it's easy to get lost in it. Yeah. Have you always had a strong sense of self? That's a good question. No, I was just gonna say,'cause you come across as somebody who like listens to yourself. And I think that people that. Are confident, give themselves a beat. Mm-hmm. And just listen to themselves instead of listening to others first. Yeah. And you just that is who I feel like is sitting beside me. Yeah. Thank you. I think that I've always had a very strong sense of self-worth. And to that with confidence came confidence. Yeah. And not in a cocky way, but I was just like, okay, I know that if I wanna go do something, I know I can do it. It was like a fearless confidence kind of mentality. And I think that's what's brought me to where I am now, like with life and business and so much. But to the point about sense of self, I think that's something that I really started to dive into and carve out in my late twenties. There was so many things like in my twenties that really rocked my world. Like my family fell apart. I was in a long term relationship and had a walk away from an engagement. All that health stuff. Not having relationships with my parents at different points in my life. Like all of these things marked. Oh my God. Were you very, were you when that was happening to you? That was like your prime time on stories, for Instagram. So did you ever share that with your followers or was this just a part of your life that you kept close my parents' divorce happened when I was in college. they separated in college and the divorce was really nasty and lasted like five years. It was horrific. That is something I've never actually opened up and talked about ever because there wasn't the platform of that then. Okay. So that didn't really occur when like all of these, like more documenting heavy things were, that was something more on like behind the scenes, I guess like in the early time, but me going through an engagement and then ending that engagement and all of that, that was in. Prime growth of Instagram time.'cause that was public. Yes. That proposal was published. Yeah. So you shared the proposal. Yeah. How soon after you shared the proposal did you wake up? Um, Let's see. We got engaged in December and we ended it in the following May. So seven months. Six, seven months. Wow. And but that was something where after that happened, like I spiraled into a hole of needing to just like function every day, nevermind try to work and stuff. So I didn't really post online for, I don't know, probably like at least three to four months, but not really even fully till the end of that year. Wow. And to Christina's point, like if you're not showing up, if you're not whatever, like you're not growing. And that was in an explosion phase of. Instagram, it's like when the algorithm was shifting, it was when like LTK was coming, were moving from blocks really big. Yep. Everything was really exploding. And so I definitely missed out and halted my own growth in that way. And then to recover from not showing up online, like it hurts you on so many ways. You don't have the numbers for brands, you don't have the like engagement with your audience. You have to work back up and build that. So like it had a compounded effect. But to your point of like sense of self, and something that I've always been so grounded in is I do what is right and best for me. And at that time, don't care about was for you the rest, and not in a way where it's eh, I don't care, but it was like, this is what I have to do to take care of me and so I'm doing it. No, you do care. You care about you not, yeah. Like maybe the whole picture at the time. And that's why I was, I don't care about numbers and my audience, it was like I have to figure out how I'm gonna function every day and put all my life back together. All of that. I think it was like, I can't do that. I also can't show up fake, I can't show up and pretend to be a certain way when I'm not. And that's always been that way. There's been many different waves of that have happened over the last couple years. Even right now, like I'm in this big transition phase of my life and it's harder to show up because I can't just be like, Hey guys, like this is the outfit. I'm just Nope, I've gotta go inward. Yeah. And that's what I do. When I am going through like bigger things because I'm not ready to talk about them right away, they do become part of my content and journey and growth and I do share them. But I usually have to process them on my own a little bit first, and that might be several months or whatever, and then I'm okay, I can now. Yeah. You can't necessarily share it all when you're in it. Yeah. Me and Marissa are very similar with that. Because we both go inward. We both definitely. Talk a lot to each other offline. When we're both going through things, we've definitely helped each other through different seasons of our life. But where I was gonna give you a huge kind of plug that,'cause I feel like we both do that right? When we're having hard times We go offline. And I had talked about this like on several podcasts about just what Marissa said, how hard it is to come back from going dark online. It is very hard. So hard. Especially when it makes you not want to but you need Yes. Because you, your number. I need to worse and you productivity recover a lot of the times. But it's like that, there's like a gnawing feeling of you can't or you know that there's gonna be a lot of hell to pay. For going dark. Yeah. It's like a repercussion. Yes. Repercussion. But what I was gonna give you a huge plug is because Yes, you. You remove yourself when you need to, when you're going through hard times, but you also give yourself, I think, a lot more space, even when you're in good times, you have really good boundaries with Instagram, with kind of showing up online. You give yourself breaks. Like you take breaks throughout the year and you take very specific ones and you're very intentional about them. She goes very quiet usually the week that you're in the summer and, in August when you're in Maine with your family, usually yes, you share some things, but it's not always real time and it's nothing work related. Nothing work related. I'm not answering messages, I'm not linking anything. Like you're right. You're it's very, you're using social media like anyone else. Anybody else, normal person. Here's the beach here. Yes. Yes. Like when you're feeling inspired, here's my lobster roll. But then you also take time after. The holidays, you usually take like almost two weeks. Or it might even sometimes be like before. Usually it's like the whole month of January before I'll literally take off the whole month like, but even after, it's like right after Christmas or right before, like you're gone the 20th, like you are the 20 on. I'm like, bye everyone. Do not talk to me. I'll see you after the new year. And so she takes time to reset herself. Where. I have not done that and I'm not looking for praise for that. I think that you need to give yourself for, because I only take your the time when I'm in a crisis and it's not okay to do that. No, it's not okay to never take a break and so I always thought that it was really strong of you to know I am taking these intentional breaks. I don't care if that means that I'm missing out on a campaign, if it means I'm missing out on numbers. You know what you need to do. For the health of yourself mentally and physically before you get to the point of a breakdown., I think that people are used to me doing that. So I'm not one of those people that if I haven't posted for two or three days, I get an inbox flooded with like, where are you? It's like my audience already knows that I have an ebb and a flow. Yeah. And I'm not, if I'm gone for one day, it's normal. And I think, yeah, that is really healthy. Like creators should be, I hate the word creator, but I'm just using it'cause it's general. Yeah. What word do you like? We said professional life share. I feel like you're a, like a. Women's life enhancer. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. You said that too. Online, women's life enhancer. But you said that, you said you, those are your words though. Yeah. You said you like to enhance the lives of women. And maybe that was in your early days, like through the, outfit, halls and tryon. And then as you evolved and you realized how wellness from the inside out has been such an integral part of your healing. Yeah. You started to just share that to enhance lives of others. For sure. But yes, your audience does. Yeah. To your point, and that's what you were saying, they know. Yeah. That you take that time. maybe not everybody, but some of them also got to the point where I had that happen one time and I was like, I'm never doing this again. I was so disconnected from myself that I didn't know what I needed and when I needed It. And when I really went inward and made the biggest choice of my life to walk away from my engagement, that set me on a course of following the inner voice that I was always abandoning. And I don't think I abandoned it in a way where it was like derailing my life, but it was in the micro choices that led to the macro things. And so it led to me having to leave an engagement because I was ignoring the little micro moments But when I left that and I decided to listen to that inner compass, it calibrated me because it gave me a sense of understanding that what I needed was to listen to myself. And so I did that and I took the time away. I came back and I was like, okay, my audience is still here. Yes, maybe the numbers aren't there, but I grew it back. I was not suffering professionally by any means for it. my business was still growing and I realized that okay, I can listen to what I need and I can still be successful in my career path, because I'm listening to what I need. I'm not sacrificing myself. I'm not sacrificing my like mental health or my wellbeing or even my brand to be something that it isn't like this is, that is the benefit I think of what we do because like I can craft that brand, but my brand is crafted around. Again, me and this is my brand and this is how I show up. And I'm very strict with that. Like I keep the boundaries on that and protect it because I know it's what's best for me to be able to function like a good, normal, healthy human and not feel like a psycho or that I'm going to hit six months and then burnout. Like I didn't wanna be in that cycle. So I'm like if I can build in these micro moments or even a day where I'm just like, I can't do this today. I can't show up online today, or I need this today, or whatever. I can do that and not feel the guilt in it. And also know that my audience is there and the people that wanna be there, the people that are invested in being there, they're there. Like I just took, again, seven months off when I went through like a horrific thing with my back and had surgery and had to recover But when I was in the thick of it and couldn't get off my couch every day I am like, I can't share online about anything. and how much can I sit here and talk about I'm in pain again. And that was the process of, again, going inward. And I was like, I'm not working. And I didn't post for six or seven months, and I came back in one of the busiest months of the year. It was July of last year, so 2024, there's Nordstrom sale, there's Amazon Prime. It's basically like Christmas in July. Like literally. it was like nothing skipped a beat. my audience was there. I had an insane month, like the best month I had all year. And I was like, yeah, okay but again, what is that? It's like I'm honoring what I need and the universe sees that and it's going to send it back. You're not fighting against the current. And I'm not forcing something that isn't there because if I hadn't done that. And I had pushed through all the things that I needed to tend to and try to still share and take on stuff like in the process of all of that pain and just like the mental load it took and the nervous system dysregulation. Yeah. And then I had surgery and then just tried to power through that and then show up in July. I definitely would not have had the month that I had. I would, it would've been like, I'm so burnt out by now, I can't even do it.'cause you can't heal when you're in the middle of chaos. Yeah. And you're not allowing yourself, and we talked so much during this point because Marissa was actually going through. You're back surgery. And I was going through my second postpartum experience and I was lost. And having a really hard time. It was actually one of the points of my life that inspired this podcast. It was when we were having a hard time, we were both going through a lot individually. It sounds like all of us were going through it all last summer. And we spoke so much about That and that we always said,'cause you would always say, take a step back, you're in the middle of chaos and you're not gonna see anything. You're not giving yourself a chance to breathe. I remember you saying those things to me. You need to slow down. You can't show up. You don't even know what's going on. Like you need to give yourself a beat. And you've always done that. So now I've been on the other side where I could say, okay, now I know the breaking point. When you need to take a beat and you need to say, hold on, I need to get my bearings. I need to, I know I need to come up for fresh air. But in order to sometimes do that, you have to stop. You have to stop. Christina has been sharing that. She's been thinking about taking a little bit of a step away. She shared it on our podcast a few weeks ago. She shared a fourth of the pie, right? What do you think about that? Because she feels like she's Burnt out going against the current. And she's burnt out because maybe Chris, you are rediscovering yourself. Like your brand is Christina Tishi, and you're still trying to figure out okay, who is this new Christina Tishi? Is she Christina Tishi, the mom? Is she Christina Tishi, like lover of life and travel and food and excitement and Raja it's and how do I blend this whole thing together? And while doing that, sharing and inspiring other women. Yes. Yeah. Yep. We, she's heard me. We've have, we have our, so I'm just curious, like somebody who had to take a couple steps back, it sounds in order to get your personal life and you feeling healthy again. What do you think about her? I think that's a good question.'cause I think that's good question anybody's, I curious think also, like all of our ages, I don't wanna age you, but Christina and I are near 40 and I know you're in your mid thirties, so I'm not gonna try to lump you in with us. But I think whether you're a mom, whether you're just in this age, I do think that this is like a very common thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like where you're just, there's a lot going on and people can come to different points of their life where Yeah. Maybe it's a little midlife ish where you're just like, there's a lot of crossroads, right? And so I guess you can speak to me because you know my story Yeah. And all the things. But if you were a friend sitting across from someone and they're just like, i'm not happy with my job. I don't know what to do right now. I don't, I, you are one of my dearest friends that I go to for things, even though we are in very different parts of our life. Yeah. And we can't relate on like certain things. We still speak to each other with a lot of respect. And so if guess and I think we have always found a way to, I'll answer your question. Yeah. I'll answer this. I think we've always found a way to relate to one another, even though we're in very different places. Like obviously Christina is married and has been for a long time and has two kids, and I'm not married and have no kids, but. Like last year, to your point, we were saying earlier that we were both going through this like very crazy crisis time. Like the reason of why we were both going through it was very different. Mm-hmm. You know, Christina was dealing with postpartum and emotions and depression and the kids and who's in her house and in and out and all these things happening. And then I'm dealing with a very intense physical thing and pain and whatever. But what we realized, I remember the exact day, I remember where I was, we were voice noting back and forth and that's our lovely 10 minute like voice notes. Literally Christine and I will voice note too. Yes. And Christina and I on 10 minute ones. Yes. Back and forth. I'm aware of Christina. My voice notes are like 34 seconds. Yes. And Christina's 34 minutes. Ours are always long. They're long-winded. But I remember exactly where I was in my apartment at the time and we were having this conversation and literally what we kept saying was, that's exactly how I feel. Yes. That's exactly what I'm going through. our situations were so different, but the root of what we were going through was the same. And what was that route? It was the nervous system dysregulation. We were both so overwhelmed with what was going on. Of course, we're talking about our job. We have somebody coming on here to talk about nervous system ship, actually. I love, I'm all about that. That's like my biggest thing right now. But like our jobs were, what we were dealing with and struggling with Christina's, like, how do I show up? I was like, stop, just stop showing up. Because I wasn't, and I'm like, Christina, that was the first thing that had to go for me, so we've realized, that's another thing of why our friendship has grown and stayed. For so long because we've always been going through different things, but also realize how similar they are. And when you take a step back and you're not so lost or clouded in your own shit. Yep. You can see other people. And what they're going through, and then you can be vulnerable together. Yeah. And that's where connection happens. And that's where friendship actually deepens birth. Sure. That was a hundred percent. And I think that it would always bother me, when you're like, oh, I don't know what this person is going through. And it's yes and no. But we'll never know what another person's going through because even you're a mom and you're a mom, but what you experience as moms is still maybe similar, but like the exact situations are different. They're never gonna happen. You're never gonna have the same, you're never like, oh, I understand totally what that is, but like maybe how it's affecting you or the feelings or all of those things like are right inside, like for me as a mother. I have four kids. What was bothering me at the time was not necessarily like my children, it was just the constant, like I felt like things were just happening around me that I couldn't control. Yeah. And it put my body in complete dysregulation. Yeah. You don't need to know what's going on with everybody. It's not my business. I don't wanna know. I wanna know what's going on with my close friends. I'm gonna pull at them to share with me and get it out of them when they're in something. But I don't need to know what's going on with everybody. But I think if you can just have a baseline empathy for other women, that different things are gonna hit them harder and they're gonna become dysregulated. And maybe if you see them out at a social situation and they don't wanna talk to you, they wanna look at you pro, maybe it's not even you. It might just be like the whole situation. I love that topic because Christina and I have talked about this too, where we're like, why can't people be friends with people that are in a different phase of life? And I think that's really the root issue is they're not willing to like step outside of themself and then see the other person and then also. Relate in that way. I can't tell you how many people have said oh, you and Marissa are still like so close. Like, how, and that's the problem right there. Why? Because we're in different chapters, if you wanna call it, or different phases. We don't even like that.'cause we always say that's not a better friend. Because when you're so intertwined with somebody's life, they live in your town, you drive the same kind of car. You all your kids go to the same school. You go to the same places, that's nice, but there's no excitement in that. You're all sharing the same experiences over and over again. It's less of an exchange to share. It's, there's less time. I think it's less growth. I think like the friendship that I have with ut obviously we've gone, we've been able to really build on ourselves. Sure. It's also because it's the same sort of thing that me and Marissa have been able to share with each other. When you break the walls down and you stop with the comparison and the bullshit and all of the stuff that clouds and you really like, look at each other's souls and hearts and what that person stands for and what they, what you can use from them to grow. I think that you end up with the most beautiful friendships that way. And you stop looking at all the surface level things. even for our sort of friendship, I can't even imagine what it looks like from the outside when you have two people who do the same exact thing. And who are around the same age and who, we look different. We're like brunette and blonde, but, it's I feel like it's, we dress similarly and there's just all these similarities. And you can totally look at people like that and just pit them against each other. Yeah. And there are online trolls that do that to us. But we just don't, we would never let it get that way. Yeah. Because it's not, I think honestly it's rampant amongst women because most women, I'm just gonna call it like it is, They're disconnected from themself and they don't know who they are. They don't have an identity as a single human being. I'm not saying single, like marital status, I'm saying like, as an individual human. They don't have an identity. I actually did an episode on my podcast about this, a couple weeks ago. It's probably like my third or fourth episode. And it's about identity versus roles. And most people are so lost in identifying themself with their role in life that they don't have an identity for who they are. And that I truly believe is where most of the conflict comes in, whether it's relationship, friendship, whatever. But all the things that you just said, for example, about like in your town, in your, you know, friend circle at the soccer game, in the carpool, all of those things are not who you are. No. They are roles that you play. and they fall under the role of mom. Yes. Mom is not an identity. Mom is not my name. My name is Christina Bon Tempo. That is just one, pillar of my life. Yes. And when. I think most people like in today's world or maybe who may be sitting on the outside looking at us, like they're looking at the roles that we play in our life and they're like, how does that work? How do they connect?'Cause they connect with other people based on roles. I personally have made it my mission always to not connect with somebody based on their role, but to connect with them with who they are as a person. And when you do that, there is depth there because you're both grounded in who you are. And that's your connection point. And it's not a connection point based on, oh, we're friends'cause we're on the soccer field every weekend to together. So Christina and I have always connected because our, identities, like who we are, we haven't allowed our roles in life to define our friendship. We had a conversation about this a couple weeks ago where we've seen like friendships in our life over the years shift so much. And it's we are friends with people by default sometimes because of the role that they played. Oh, we were in the same class in college, or we were roommates in college, or we went to, they had the same job out of college or our kids. They were placed in your life. Yes. Where you guys have both collectively decided to place each other in your lives and keep them there. And we don't define our friendship based on the role that we play. I guess circling all the way back to your question before of what do I think, like I know that if Christina goes and does like a totally different career path, it has like literally nothing, zero weight on our friendship because our friendship isn't defined by like our roles, if you will, as like influencers and creators. And, but how do you, but what do you think about her? Yeah. Like not involving you, but what do you think like her, Christina? About taking a step back or a pause and just even exploring that thought. Yeah. I think it's the best thing and it's probably something that I've said so much. Take a step back, stop. Just stop. Because you can't force something that isn't there. You can't make it happen. And also there's no shame in growing into a different place in your life and wanting something different. I always say, if you're in the same place that you were five years ago, there's a problem. Like you, you should be growing and evolving and changing. And if who you are as a person has grown and evolved and changed to where you no longer align with the external role that you're playing, then change it. There's beauty in that because it's a testament to your growth. It's a testament to where you've come and how far you've come in life. And also it shows that you're connected to yourself because you're able to identify, Hey, this doesn't feel right for me anymore. This doesn't bring me joy, this doesn't bring me happiness. And when you are constantly pushing against something that isn't for you, that's where you feel. Burnt out, uncreative, disconnected, disoriented, all these things. I know. This is what, that's why we end up having, literally, we spent, I think I talked about this on the podcast. we spent an entire day together. Yeah. We had it, I think it consisted of two, like three to four hour meals. Meals, yeah. In the same day. Yeah. But usually when we're together, we have literally a four hour lunch. Yeah. It's there's just no stopping us, no. Our conversations. And they're very deep and they're not, catty and we're not sitting there talking shit about other people. We're literally doing all of this, like growth and sharing on such deep levels and Yeah. That's why I've always just been I think inspired by you, but I it's, I'm inspired by my ability to have a friendship like this, yeah. it just feels so good. And that's what. Friendship should ultimately be? You have to be selective with your circle. If you're deeply connected, you don't even need to go to surface, nevermind bring other people into the conversation. Surface doesn't do it for you. And that's what gossip is. If you're not connected with somebody, you're gonna end up talking about other people. But if you're so invested in what the other person has to stay and then they ask you a question and you exchange, why even bring others into it? It's so true. You talked about micro changes. The micro things. If you micro things I was using an example of ignoring, the little micro things and then it turns into a huge thing, right? Where you have a macro crash out, can you,'cause I always love a takeaway and I realize that unfortunately. There is no hack. Yes, we always say that there are hacks, but really there's not. But what are some micro changes that you've made in your life that you feel have led you here today? Yeah. That's a great question. Do you, yeah, it is really good question. And it's probably more so it's probably more on the health, maybe on the health wellness, and wellness journey. And then you also tease that, like right now you're also at another pivot in your life too. Yeah. Okay. So Len, maybe I'll relate it to where exactly where I'm at right now. Yeah. So for example, the micro growth things, like I have been obviously going back and forth from Florida for five years now, and that seems okay, this amazing, cool lifestyle like flying back and forth and you have a house in a beach town and a house in Connecticut and all this stuff, but there's so much unseen stuff that layers up with that, sure. Number one, I am. Just a single woman, like it's me managing two homes. And I like think about the management of one home, nevermind two. And I'm doing that alone. And I think part of my own healing journey has been moving out of this kind of like boss babe, using so much of my masculine type of energy and really moving into more of a feminine energy and expression and what that is. And that is receiving and responding and masculine is doing and doing, and I'm moving out of that. And so the life that I have right now doesn't really feel aligned with where I'm at anymore. Thankfully. also had a man come into my life who is very much in his masculine and who is in that role. And so it's been. Very natural progression for me to move more into a feminine role, but I don't have that here. And accept that masculinity. Yes. Because I touched on it. Have a partnership. Yeah. You touched on it also. You've been taking care of yourself for a very long time. Long time. And I think that you have finally allowed someone else to come in and start taking care of you. Yeah. And instead of looking at that as a negative of yes I can't do it, you're not saying that you can't do it, you're saying that Yes. You're, you don't have to always do it. Yes. And you're gonna take a little bit of a passenger princess approach right now. Yeah. And just, and be, and just complimentary to your lifestyle. It's nice. That could come across very controversial, but sometimes, especially when you're always the doer, the type A driven, it's cause for burnout. And sometimes when you have the season that just allows you to just step back. Yeah. You're allowing, it's to have somebody else choose the restaurant for it's yes. Yeah. And we met, I'm gonna share the story of like how we met and that whole thing on my podcast. Soon he's gonna come on and be a guest. Yay. But when we met, I was in the, I was right before everything with my back started. And honestly, when I look back at the timing of things I see he came into my life and three, four months into knowing each other. And then everything happened with my back. And it was at first it wasn't as extreme as it was. And then two months into it I was like, oh my God, I can't even walk. But I see where I literally became immobile. Then had a man coming into my life who was right there and ready to just step into being there for me, supporting me, taking care of me, going to doctor's appointments, whatever. Like it allowed me to put to rest that masculine. Doing. And he stepped in and did it. But to be honest, like if that process didn't happen, I don't know if I would've ever just relinquished that quote unquote role because it was something that I was so used to being in. Yeah. Like you would've fought it at one point. Yeah. and it was like I had to be like unable to do anything and allow him to do and then just receive as a woman, we receive from the man, like receiving that. And like I look at that and I see that now and I see also why we've created such a strong foundation and how it's contributed to where we're at now. Don't get me wrong, I still come go in and out of that role of just oh, duh. And he's babe, I got it. And I'm like, oh yeah, you're right. but right now, transitioning like my life out of going back to your question of like where do I feel this misalignment right now because I have this life that I've created, but now I have a life with someone else that we are creating and that life that I had before doesn't really align. And I'm feeling that deeply right now, being back in Connecticut and being in a home where like I'm doing and taking care of and all these things that like I'm not doing in Florida, like because there's a man there and it feels dysregulating on a very deep level for me. It's almost triggering where I'm constantly feeling like I'm in fight or flight or feeling paralyzed all of these things. And to your point, these are the micro things that I'm like pinging off constantly and I have to pay attention to. And so I'm like, okay before I have a full blown burnout and crash out, which I've almost hit like multiple times, I am making choices that are aligning with the life that I wanna create. Because I don't wanna hit a point where I'm like having a full blown mental breakdown over what my life is when I have the power to change it. With small choices that ultimately lead to big ones. Yeah. But big choice would be, yeah. Potentially moving out of Connecticut, which is what that choice is. And I think that as it's, that's not just like a micro choice. That's it. It is. But it's a big one. It's a big one. But I think as your friend, I think that it's, you need to let that go. And we've talked about this like it's. It's, I don't wanna say holding you back, but it's, but it is, it's holding you back in ways. Yeah. But it's not allowing you to really plant yourself and root yourself where you want to be and like be able to take those next steps. And I also think that where I've seen growth with you is that you would've held on as long as you could To both properties as like a badge of honor. Like I have Both of these places. And this is because I'm a doer and I, this is it's symbolic of my hard work and that I can take care of myself. And you don't need to do that. You don't, you have nothing to prove anymore. A hundred percent. And you have more self worth. Yes. Yeah. And you wanna be lighter and brighter in Florida. Yeah. Less is more. Exactly. That's our mantra. A hundred percent. Yeah. That's where I've come home this summer, the last two months that I've been here. I came home with the intention knowing like this is my last summer there, like in that home and enjoying it and trying to be present, but also at the same time came home and like I've really struggled with all of it because I feel like I'm going backwards. I'm going back to a place that I've grown out of to where me being in my own home feels like an out-of-body experience because I'm so far past what that was. It represented a time in my life that I've grown and blown past so much right now. And so being there is hard because of that. You have to remember, you left there because you needed a break from it. Yeah. In the winter. Not everybody needs a break from their home in the winter. Yeah. You did. Yeah. But at the same time, like I. Think while I've struggled the last two months with being there, it's also been an opportunity, one to put into practice the growth that I've gone through. And being like, okay, I can actually reframe my reality. I can create the reality that I want, which I'm going to and am doing. But also having an experience of coming back and realizing how misaligned something is only a testament to your own growth. Yeah. And so I've been able to witness that and be like, you don't realize it sometimes when you're in it, but then when you can actually experience it, like I am coming into this and being like, whoa, I'm so disconnected. I'm disconnected because I've grown past it. you're not going backwards. It's a representation that you've gone forward. It's like trying on, and it's like a testament to me, that don't fit you. They don't serve that part of your life anymore. And you're just like, instead of holding onto it, I have to let it go. Go and embrace this. Yeah. And I can witness my own growth in that. And I think that's the only reason that I came back to have this summer experience that I've had to be able to see where I've grown the last five, especially five years of my life. Yeah. It's almost like I needed it to be able to sit back and be like, wow, good job, Mar. Like I can look at it and say that's the accomplishment I wanna have. I don't wanna have, oh, another house, oh, another this, another that. I wanna be able to be like, wow, I really grew that much. Like who I am as a person is different and I don't need all the outward things to affirm that. And it's okay to close that season. Yeah, it is. Because also it's like I wanna create something new and something different. And letting that go allows me to move all of my time, energy, finances in a different direction and create and continue creating, the life that I want. Like I created that life of having the two homes and going back and forth and that was what I wanted. And it serves such a beautiful purpose at the time, but it's run its course and I can take that and move it into something else Similar, like with your career, how I said it's followed you and you haven't chased it. Like same thing now with this whole situation, you're not gonna be chasing down a home because you know you're from Connecticut and you bought that home by yourself on your own. You cleaned the pool, you were the handyman, you were all this stuff. Wow. So there it's like breaking news. I feel like. I knew that I touched on it like in a episode. The second to last episode. Yeah, it was a recent one. It's currently live and like delved into it. And I've been talking about that like with my family and friends and stuff, and like people, everyone ask, we know it's coming, but most people are like, oh, I felt like you were gonna say that. For sure. As much as I'll miss you being here all the time. I know, but I know. You'll always be a Connecticut girl. Yeah. There'll always be something. And I think I will come back in, rent a house in the summer and all that. Yeah. But that's like stuff I'm not even, yeah. I'm thinking about, but not yet. It's down the line things. So the last question I wanna ask you Okay. Is. What are you doing now that you're incorporating into your health regimen? Because I know you were on the podcast with Holistic Health Code Yeah. A couple months ago. And Christina and I loved that podcast. Thank you. Yeah. We thought at that point, I don't think you'd launched your podcast yet. I haven't. Or maybe you had maybe I'm sure you've been like talking about, thinking about it, but you hadn't launched your podcast. Yeah. But I thought at the time like, oh my God, she would be like the most amazing podcaster thanks. But I'm, I was so intrigued by your what you shared on that episode about what you've been doing with your health journey. Yeah. And I wanted you just to share a little bit of that with our listeners. So My Health the last year has looked a lot like rehabbing my body and gaining strength back because I quite literally lost like all of it, especially on the right side of my body where it was in pain. To the point where like my nerves weren't even firing to the muscle for it to actually move. So you had back surgery? Yeah. Okay. The back surgery is not really what caused that. It was all of the nine preliminary, like pre months before that. my nerves were so damaged that they weren't even firing to go to the muscle, which I'm still dealing with now. Like it's not a hundred percent. It's definitely something like that's why I'm working so hard to strengthen my body. at the turn of this year, because the last six months of last year after my surgery, like I really felt like I was in such a fog. I was trying to reintegrate into like normal life and just daily stuff. Like going to target for errands would absolutely exhaust me.'cause I hadn't done anything for nine months, so I was just reintegrating back into getting a life. And then at the turn of the year I was like, okay, I'm getting active again. I need to start like building strength and my muscle. Working on like strengthening my body literally, because I don't ever wanna go backwards with that. And I have to stay active with the way that like my body and back is. So I walk pretty much five to maybe seven times a week, like depending on the, whatever my schedule is. But I walk like at least three miles a day. And then I strength train and add that right now I'm doing about three to four times a week. And then I'll do Pilates probably one to two times a week. So it's a mix of everything, but the Pilates is really good for like my back and all of those, like micro muscles. And then I'm strength training, not like crazy heavy, like back squats and stuff, but just like using weights. so you are using gentle movement as medicine sounds like? Yeah, in different capacities, but also pushing myself to where it's like I'm not comfortable necessarily in my movement. Like I am challenging myself because I have to build it back. You're rehabbing standpoint, right? You're rehabbing. So you have to improve. So that would be the main thing that I'm doing. And then from like a nutrition, standpoint, I eat super high protein to support the muscle and kind of recovery that I'm building. I don't do sugar, I don't do gluten, so I'm eating a lot of super high protein, a lot of berries, Greek yogurt, honey, and just like whole nutritious foods, sweet potato, broccoli. Like I'm eating very whole and nutritious to fuel my body for all of the like work and like building that I'm doing with it. And then, from a kind of like mental emotional standpoint. I feel like that was the kind of the area that was sacrificed in that whole process because I was focusing so much on like my physical movement and like being disciplined with my eating to fuel my body. Whereas the past two years, even when I was going through my back stuff, my mental emotional was like forefront. Like I had all the time in the world to be meditating and journaling and listening to like herz music and like all of that stuff. And so I realized coming home this summer and feeling so discombobulated and disconnected how much I need to be grounded and get in tune with myself every day and returning to a practice of, even if it's daily, just like being in my journal and having five minutes, you don't need an hour to sit down. It can be five minutes where you're scribbling down like. One sentence, I feel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like a little bit of a brain dump or an offload. I realized how much I had gotten away from that when I was paying so much attention to my physical other things. And needed to return to that. And so that's been something that I've been more intentional with the last couple of weeks that's been so again, micro moment things that are contributing to the overall health of everything. And I think that's one thing I will say with health stuff is people make it this big all or nothing thing. And you don't need to do that. It just needs to be something that's commitment to the growth. You're not gonna sit down the first day, you like meditate and do an hour meditation. You might get through 10 seconds and that's okay. Like it's about the doing and the next day it's 15 seconds and then it's 30, and then you keep going. I love that you like, took it back to the journaling, because you said you were, you've been doing it since five years old. Yeah. You started I know, right? It's right. And that's I literally have all my journals, like I have a Box in my attic that has stacks and stacks of journals that I can go back, like years and years worth, outside of the online journal, of the blog, I have. So many books that I can go back to, including that one from when I was five. I love that. Awesome. No, I love that. That was such a full circle. Yeah. I feel like this was such a great conversation. I know. I feel like I can ask so many questions, but we'll have to get you on the next time you're in Connecticut. Or maybe we'll have to, we'll have to take a work trip Downt to Florida. Yeah. Come on down and do a little Naples recording session. But we're gonna close this episode with our favorite segment of course, which is our pink spotlight. Pink spotlight. Yay. Which is a person place thing, mantra tip. Anything that you do, and we've obviously we're just talking about things that you do That help to make your life a little bit better, but do you have a pink spotlight for us to share? Yeah, so I actually have two. I thought about it beforehand. Yes, of course. Number one, the pants I'm wearing, I love them. Okay. They're the auria love lodge pair. The lodge pants are elite, you guys. I need to get them. I love them. I got the first pair in the spring and I would like wearing them to death. Then I got the linen ones in the summer. I have a couple colors in those and then now I'm like back touring this like more cre head material. I like the creep, but they like do not wrinkle. They're so comfortable. I wear them like as super casual outfit or dressed up for something. Like we went to dinner the other night and I had like heels and like a cute drapey like haltered shirt. I feel like that would look cute with a top eye have on. Yeah, a hundred percent. I love that they come in a million colors. They're so comfortable. Like they're literally my go-to pan. When I got my first pair in the spring, I was like, okay, I'm gonna wear this all the time. It feels like sweatpants, but it's not. I know they're so elevated and it's best cost per wear item. When you actually think about how many times you'll wear them and like they, you can wear those traveling, you can wear and they're like you said, they don't wrinkle. They're not falling apart. They're not falling apart. I think they're Wilfred and then they're called the Lodge Pants. I know I love them. The Wilfred Lodge pan. Yeah. Okay. Done. Get them. They're the best. Yes. I have a folder on my LTK page with all the ways I've worn them, They're so nice. But definitely the pants. And then the second thing is my daily walks. I truly get like such a reset from that. I feel like it's what calibrates me every day. I get out of bed in the morning. If I'm going to the gym, I'll walk after. Sometimes I'll just walk It's truly so good for you. It's so beneficial for like mind, body, and soul. And it's just like such a refreshing thing. I understand. Not everyone can do three miles or something, maybe like I do, but like even go for a loop around your neighborhood. Or down your driveway and back, it's really, I'm a big walker too. We love walking. Yeah. I think hot girls walk. Honestly, we do sometimes like the sometimes I do run, but when I'm in a running season, it's usually because I'm like running away from something. Like when I'm walking I'm just like thinking and reflecting and just yes, it is. It's, or venting with Christina, yeah. And you can, I'm enjoying myself. And exercise also that you can like really do other things too. So you can listen to something. You can think, you can voice, text, you can do it's something where it's time. I feel like it's a twofer, right? Yeah. Like you can get other things done with without scrolling. Yeah. So it gets you away from scrolling your phone, but then also like you're able to multitask with walking. And so I usually just feel. So good after I walk. And then I'll walk and then I'll be like, why do I not do this every single day? Like sometimes scheduling just doesn't allow for that, but I, oh, I never regret it. Never. Like it's something that you just are like, oh, that was so nice and you feel so good after. You take a walk, it's so good for you. I love it. And there's so much, if you're a person that needs like numbers and research and all that, there's so much on it that like, people who walk at least a mile a day, live 15 years longer, I believe it. Like stuff like cra crazy things like that sound crazy in today's world because everyone's, it has a profound impact on I Health. No, that's a good one and that's a good reminder. What about you t? Alright, so today was the first day of school. Oh know, I have four kids. It was their day in the school. Are they coming home any minute? So any minute now the boys will be home first and then the girls will come home second. And I. Well, was dreading the summer back in June. I was dreading the summer at the beginning of the summer because I was like, oh, I'm not great with like transitions and my kids are gonna be home every day. And I won't get my alone time. I won't get to do this. And I had all of this like fear, like ruminating and I just let the summer be and me and my kids had the best summer. I'm so happy that my husband too. I love that. What do you feel like enabled you to create that for you and them have the best summer? I didn't. I didn't fight it. I went with it. I wasn't like, I don't get to go to my class. I don't get to go to my dos. I don't get to go. I just embraced. This summer. And we did walks, we did bike rides. Like it turns out like my kids are at a different age. They were able to. Ride their bike across the street. And play tennis. Or they, like we just ended up enjoying time together. You really embraced it this summer? Yeah. I really enjoyed my time with them this summer. And I think like sometimes space creates more space. So I was a mom who wanted to sign them up for camp and get them away from me so I could like then have my time. But what I realized was then when I would do that and that became the routine, then they would be like, ha. Yeah. When they saw me and it would be like more chaotic then you even, and more over-stimulating. But for whatever reason it's had to integrate them into the thing. let's all go on the bike ride. Lets all go to Doms and everyone can do whatever. Like you integrate them into the things, and then everyone's happy. And then from there you can pop off and, okay, you and your brother can go over here and do this, or you wanna go play tennis for three hours, you can go do that. So there was like. Doses of us being apart, but we weren't all together. Yeah. So last year when I put them on the bus for the first day of school, I like skipped up this driveway. like I was so happy. I was like, thank God they're all gone today. I was like sad. I'm a little like, God, this is so weird. I've never felt like this before. This is what mothers feel like when they miss their kids. Yeah, I am almost, I'm like, I don't know. Embarrassed to say I had never really had that moment.'cause I'm like, oh my God, they're too much for me. I can't handle that. Go to school get outta here. Yeah. I love that. I love loved your pink spot. Thank God. right? Yeah. You know of they're learning, they're growing, but. I did miss them because they were, I love that. And I remember when we had the episode where we were saying we were ha, you were having a little bit of some panic around like the schedule change and it was you just felt like you got in a good groove and now everything's changing and so That's so nice to hear that. I took them on vacation last week. My husband came at the end of the week Uhhuh. So it was just like me and them for most of the week and it was so nice. Oh, I love, like they're getting to be like so fun to Yeah. Hang around the fun ages where it's not like the trenches. I love that too. So anyways, that's my pink spotlight. Kids, I love. Your mother doesn't always just talk shit about you on podcast. I know. We love you Sometimes I say nice to, we love you Bon. So mine, I've been chatting about on my Instagram for the last two weeks. I won't shut up about it, but it is this collagen mask that I ordered Yes. Via Amazon. So good. And it is. Worth the hype. First of all, I have never had so many clicks or sales on something in 15 years of doing it. I, you were gonna bring me one. I should have, but I only, I have two left and I'm sorry I can't part with them. And I'm gonna add it to my subscribe and save. That's how much I love them so that I don't run out it. Okay. But your skin is gorgeous. But my, so my, these, this is like a collagen. It's a sheet mask. Yeah. And you wear it overnight. So I was a little intimidated by that. But it says for best results, you wear it overnight. And it's, it comes in two parts, just like thinking of you like two pieces. In Raj. Oh yeah. I mean it's, luckily it's once a week, so it's not like something that you have to do every single day. Luckily for you or for Raj? Luckily for both of us because it's not, it's honestly not that I know. What's gonna surprise me though, at this point, years 10, marriage, been marriage. We've been married, we've been together for 18 years. My boyfriend and I have been doing face masks together. Sorry babe. Calling you out. I know. Literally since like month three, he I was doing a mask.'cause I just I'm just myself. I'm also, you don't like me. I don't care. Yeah. He was like, can I that with you? Like also, thank you. When my skin is glowing. That's what I'm saying. Like I'll wake up a younger version and guess what? I'll be in a better mood'cause my skin is glowing and so you should give me a nice kiss on the lips. And look at my scary face right now. But I, it's like a two. I like it because I've only tried one that's one, the two is better, which is claustrophobic with your whole face. It is also like really hard to navigate it around. And this one is in two pieces, so it's like top and bottom. Yep. And so it's easy to layer it and it says to wear it overnight. It honestly, you have to let it dry for 20 minutes. So normally it goes into my last pink spotlight. I will put it on once a week and then I'll go lay in bed and read for 15, 20 minutes. And by that time it's like locks in so it's not going anywhere.'cause I had a lot of questions. People were like, we, is it like slip off your face? It doesn't though. Yes. And it doesn't slip. It really doesn't go anywhere. Slip, wake up when it's on. Yep. It's, it stays on and it like sets in and it still feels like moist, but it doesn't, it's not slippery at that point. Okay. So it really doesn't take that long. And then I literally fall asleep by the time I like roll over. And I am a side sleeper. It's good to go. Like it's not going anywhere. And then it dries, it goes on white and it dries completely clear. So in the morning it peels off in one piece. Yeah. And your skin is. Like my skin is like bouncy when I take it off. It's like you can tell it's it actually hydrated. Yeah. Yes. Like it's going down deep. Yes. And not just like on the surface and you're actually not left with a lot. It's not like afterwards, like your face feels like there's anything on it. It's just my skin feels dry. So bouncy and so hydrated. Like I get very dehydrated skin. And so this has, this just, it's like all of the lines. Everything is so hydrated. Yeah, I swear my under eyes look less hollow. Like it's just, it is amazing. And so I've been doing it the last couple of weeks. I've been like, Sunday nights are my thing and I am obsessed with it. So it comes in a pack of four. So I'll put that link in the show notes for it. I wish I had a code, but I do not. I'm gonna literally harass them to get a code because it is so good. But, so this is from Amazon? This is from Amazon. I ordered it from Amazon. And you can, if you subscribe and save, you do save a little bit. It's called a, I think it's called BioD Dance or something. They're BioD, like BioD Dance Collagen Master Sheet Master. There's a few of them. The ones that I have tried are the pink ones, but I've heard other, which is very fitting of course. Alright. But there are a bunch of different other kinds, but I think they, the, this one is the collagen mask and that's specific too. All right, so I'm getting collagen masks. Yes. And Auria Lodge pins. Love it. Yeah. Perfect. And we will love to have you back on Mars. You are just one of my favorite humans in the world. Please tune into Marissa's podcast. Can you tell to listen? Curious? Yeah. Give us a little to find you. Yeah. Where are you at? Okay, so I'm on Instagram style cus. Which might be changing soon. Yeah. And then my podcast is behind the cusp, and it's a play on words, but if you listen to my first episode, I delve into why. But truthfully, the podcast as a whole is about transformation and elevating women. And I think most of the process that I've gone through in my own life is really what I want to encourage women in so that we can all rise together. Yeah, I love that. I love that. Sam, thank you so much. This was such a great one. I know. And a great conversation. And we're just so lucky to have you in our lives. Thank you. And now our listeners have a little piece of you too, so thank you guys. Guys. I feel the same. Thank you. Love you. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. are we all caffeinated now? Some days I just need a little pep and I don't wanna have a coffee.'cause coffee just makes, it's that's how I drink matcha. It's over the edge. And I didn't drink. Yes. I didn't have mine this morning. I do like matcha, but then sometimes in the afternoon. Okay. So I do hear me out Arbon, they have their greens and fizz and the fizz has natural energy from B five and something else. Something. And I've been drinking it for a couple months and it's so good. In your water? Or what is it? Yeah, I just mix it up. I do a packet of the greens and a packet of the fizz, but it's has a fizziness to it and I actually mix it with a seltzer, so it's like more carbonated. So it feels like you're drinking something natural, grassy, like whatever. It actually tastes good. I just need something around like two o'clock, to give me just a little that's when I drink it. Yeah. You'll, I'll be at working and I'm like, okay, I need like a boost and I drink that. But I didn't have my matcha this morning so I can feel it. I'm like, you're have any caffeine? No, I didn't have anything. I'd be dying. I wouldn't be alive. I can do it without it, but I'm like. I hit that I'm sitting down. So now I'm like, no. I went, I like, I think this house just will make you tired. No, I quit. I quit on again. It's exhausting. And I went back to coffee because I just, why? Christina, you like the chip coffee? You like the brewed coffee? Yes. You like it? It was, I love, I like love my coffee too, but I cannot start my day with it because I will literally feel like I don't have anxiety ever. But if I drink coffee in the morning, I feel like I'm gonna jump outta my skin. Oh yeah. I can't do it. So I have to have matcha in the morning with food. And if I want coffee, I'll have it at 12, one, maybe two, then I'm not. Having a crash, then I won't sleep. But then I'm not going, I'm still being able to go to bed at night if I have it at three or four or five in two late, so you have one? I have one. That's it. I do like matcha, like I love the taste of matcha. It's just that it doesn't give me enough. I need a little bit something in the morning. Like I need the coffee in the morning, but I just have less, so I have the coffee, it gives me a little bit of a jolt and then, but then I think I have the rest of the day to burn that off. But then I can have a matcha later, it's like the caffeine level, so much lower. So it's like I just need a little it, like a matcha good to get me through. But then in the afternoon I haven't been wanting that taste. Like I've been wanting bubbles. That's what, like Chris. Yeah. So you need to try the fist stuff. Did we? I'll send you, I have a link for'em. I'll send it. You're like, i'm what's the day in April from Miss Congeniality? April 16th or whatever. Yeah. Not too hot. Not too hot. Not too hot. Not too hot. Too cold. That's like a jacket. That's like little annoying. Princess Christina. No, because I can You are, I like can't have. If you were a date, you would be April 16th. I would be April 16th. Okay. Not too hot. Not too hot. You would not be not too cold? No. I'm dunno what I would such a January 1st. I know what I would be, it's not July. I would definitely be a July. July 1st July. I would be a July. August. No, I like get hot, but with my beverages I'm very like specific, like with. Like the temperature in my mouth needs to be like, I'm very picky with the temperature in my mouth. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Angela's gonna die.